Are you finding out what you are having?

Well I've gotten that question A LOT these days, and the answer is yes . . .  we found out last week at our almost 19 week ultrasound . . . here is what the Mababy looks like  . . .

And we found out what gender the Mababy is  . . .

And I'm trying to make peace with Pink since I know people love giving you gender specific colors, so that's why I'm wearing pink.  However---I did register for gender neutral clothes on purpose because I don't want LOTS of pink, gosh there are just so many other beautiful colors in the rainbow.  And I was so excited that I forgot my proper English so it should read "It's a girl" my bad.

Many of you have asked for belly picture updates so here's what we do every Tuesday night, thanks to Megan Pardue--I use my chalk board and attempt to draw whatever food the babies size is equivalent to for the week. This week she is the size of an Heirloom Tomato. So please forgive me for my poor drawing skills.

Also many of you have asked if we are disclosing the name, and yes we are.  It's a very special name.  So I'll give you a little the story.  Back in November when Todd & I went to Peggy's Cabin (our favorite place on earth) to get away and we were just 9 or 10 weeks.  Todd started the journal that he had been planning on writing for years when we finally got pregnant.  A journal to our baby starting from when we found out until they are much older and really need to know how special and loved they are.  I love it.  Todd's a journaler and is amazing at writing.  He did before he bought my engagment ring and all through out engagment, and gave me the journal the night before our wedding.  Every year we read it again on our anniversary and add that years anniversary details to always remember.  

Anyways, when he was writing he felt like we needed to change the names that we had for 6-7 years, because they don't tell the story of our infertility.  So we talked about a boy & girl name of people in our lives that suffer well and have such compassion in the midst of grief & disappointment.  The name we agreed that tells our narrative of suffering is . . .

MONIKA MARIE MABERRY

Monika Trogdon is our very dear friend in Durham that was a God-send to us each and every step of the way in the darkness of infertility.  She gave me many shots in my rear, stomach, made me meals, took care of me after all my surgeries, cried with me after each & every failed IVF no matter if it was 12:30am--she drove over to be with me then when Todd was in the middle east.  She encouraged me when I was discouraged. She encouraged me to start going to the IF support group -which I loved.  She was at countless doctors appointments, ultrasounds, and she advised me when I was unsure what to do next because she has an awesome trained medical mind.  She researched everything online so I didn't have to read all of the negative stuff that isn't good for anyone. I could go on and on.  The point is, I'm not sure I could have stayed sane without her or would have even had the strength to keep going on the crazy journey of IVF anymore rounds. 

She is a gift, a joy, faithful, compassionate person who radically loves and is never scared of anger, suffering, or sorrow--she freely enters into.  And is WITH YOU in the pain and carries it with you.  I believe that is exactly what Jesus calls us to do, is to love, and have a love that weeps and is sacrifical and hurts when you hurt.  Love is hard, but man does this kind of love make the world a better place and worth living.  She is our "shero."  And that is why we are naming our beloved daughter after her. 

Also--we are big on the meaning of names and Monika means "advisor," gosh does Monika Trogdon fit her namesake ey?  Todd thought if our daughter can advise and walk along side those that are suffering, what a gift she would be to the world.  Also Monika also comes from a saint--Saint Monica (spelled with a "c"--we are keeping our Monika's spelling with a "k").  She was St. Augustine of Hippo mother who converted her son later in life to Christianity and without whom we wouldn't have a lot of our theology today. 

Marie is my best friend Heather DeBoer's middle name.  A name that I've always loved and Todd & I agreed it was our favorite middle name for a girl.  Like Monika, Heather is also a gift to me. She has loved us so well from afar during our IF struggles.  Last Christmas after our 2nd failed IVF she drove down from Virginia right away when I called and spent the whole week with us in our pain. She is also a woman who walks with those who suffer and has never been afraid of our pain for it was her pain too, she was suffering with us.  Heather and I have been best friends from the moment we met back in January 2000.  I couldn't think of a better person to name our daughter after.  I am so blessed to have had Heather in my life, I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for Heather DeBoer.  And Marie means "Bitterness or Wished for Child," which I'm pretty sure that may sum up our years of infertility.  So again, such a meaningful name.

I feel like our daughter has 2 amazing women that are her namesake.  She's sure to be as strong, feisty, compassionate, and loving as these women are in this world. 

Also her initials are MMM, which is what you say when something is really good.  My brother Steve, is lovingly calling her 3M.  Here is a picture from Monika Trogdon about her initials which I thought was funny . . .

 

So that's our news this week.  We are celebrating our sweet Monika Marie Maberry in my womb.